


i wanna follow (where he goes)

by MissSugarPlum



Series: realignment verse [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (although this one is chronological so it shouldn't be too hard to follow), (and don't say i didn't warn you), Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Not beta-read, also BEWARE THE BUCKETS OF ANGST, can we all agree that kyla is to blame, kind of, this one is really actually not my fault, time traveler's wife au, too many parentheses, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey crud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-11-18 02:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSugarPlum/pseuds/MissSugarPlum
Summary: The first time Leonard Snart met Barry, he had no idea just how much his life would be irrevocably changed.He would, though, in time.-x-[A chronological re-telling ofRealignment (time & company)bywriterdragonfly, as told by Leonard Snart.]





	1. October 25th, 1976

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writerdragonfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Realignment (time & company)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868238) by [writerdragonfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/pseuds/writerdragonfly). 



> before we get started, and just so everyone's aware, _this is all Kyla's fault_. she is the Actual Goddess of Absolute Angst™, with a crown made solely from the tears of her ~~victims~~ readers, and we are all but unwitting passengers on her glorious Angst Train.
> 
> (that being said, ily dearly, my darling! all of this is for you. <333)
> 
> reading [Realignment](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5868238/chapters/13525813) _probably_ isn't totally necessary, but it may help clear a few things up, as well as add to the experience of reading this. but hey, whatevs, y'all do you  <3
> 
> buckle up, kiddies, 'cause we're all in for a _hell_ of a ride.
> 
> (there are also a couple of lines in this chapter that belong to _Dr. Seuss's ABC_ that are, obviously, not mine.)
> 
> (title from There's Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes, with a pronoun change)

-x-

 

_[Nobody knows it, nobody knows it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XcWRl8l9vE) _

 

[ _But right from the start, I gave you my heart_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XcWRl8l9vE)

 

-x-

 

The first time Leonard Snart met Barry, he had no idea just how much his life would be irrevocably changed.

 

He would, though, in time.

 

But for now, little Leo is four, and he lives with his Mama, and he is _happy_.

 

(He sees his Daddy sometimes too, but he doesn’t like the way Mama looks so sad and angry for a long time afterward, even though he knows she tries to hide it from him.)

 

He’n Mama are sitting side by side on Mama’s bed and she’s singin’ to him while they’re waiting for their beans to heat up on the hot plate—he loves when Mama sings to him, because she has the prettiest voice in the whole world, and he likes how big she smiles when he tells her so.

 

She’s singin’, and they’re waiting for their beans, and when someone knocks on the door (not Daddy, Leo can tell because the knocking is soft instead of like when Daddy bangs on it) Mama kisses his cheek _lots_ afore going to open it.

 

“Oh!” she says to whoever it is. “It’s you!”

 

“It’s me,” says a man, a voice Leo doesn’t know. “I didn’t—I don’t know where else to go.”

 

“Well, get on in here, then,” his Mama says, and she pulls the stranger in by their arm. “Lookin’ a lot better’n you did, last I saw you.”

 

“I’m—mostly,” the man says—he’s a nice-looking man, Leo thinks, and his smile looks lots nicer than Daddy’s usually does. The man sees Leo then, huddled up on his Mama’s bed with her quilt ’round his shoulders, and he gets this kinda odd look on his face. “And who’s this?” he says, real quiet.

 

Leo looks to his Mama, ’cause she always tells him not to talk t’strangers, and only answers after she nods at him with a tiny smile. “M’name’s Leo,” he says, “’n I’m almost four-and-a-half.” He holds up four fingers proudly.

 

The man smiles really big at him. “That’s almost five,” he says, soundin’ real impressed. “My name’s Barry—it’s very nice to meet you, Leo.”

 

Barry holds out his hand for Leo to shake, like he thinks Leo is a grown-up just like him, and Leo giggles a little afore putting out his hand and shaking it, real hard like his Daddy says real men are s’posed to.

 

“You want somethin’ to drink?” Mama asks. “I got actual cups, now.” She’s smiling a little bit, and Leo doesn’t know what’s so funny about _cups_ , but Barry laughs a little after she says it, so it _must_ be funny, right?

 

Grown-ups are weird, Leo thinks.

 

“Water’s fine, thank you.”

 

His Mama fills a cup with water from the faucet, and says over her shoulder, “Leo, baby, why don’t you get your ABC book?”

 

“’Kay,” Leo says, happy enough. He grabs his book from the little table next to the bed and starts to read, quietly and to himself while his Mama and Barry talk.

 

_Big A, little a, what begins with A? Aunt Annie’s alligator..._

 

He only kinda listens to what his Mama and Barry are sayin’—somethin’ about the year, and a watch, or maybe a witch? Leo’s confused, because his Daddy says magic don’t exist, but Barry laughs again and shakes his head, so maybe his Mama is wrong.

 

Leo doesn’t think so, though. His Mama is usually right.

 

Then the beans are done, and Mama dishes some out for her and Leo, and even though she offers some to Barry, he says “no thank you,” all polite like Mama’s always tellin’ Leo to be. And Leo can’t eat his beans and read his book at the same time, but it’s okay because Barry comes an’ sits next to him and _reads to him_ , and his voice is real nice to listen to.

 

Leo decides he likes Barry.

 

They get all the way to _Big K, little k, kitten, kangaroo_ , Barry reading and Leo yawning against his side and his Mama kinda smilin’ at the both of them, when all of a sudden Barry is _gone_ and Leo’s book drops to the floor and he almost falls over.

 

Leo gasps and whips his head ’round, searching for Barry even though he just _disappeared_ , quick as you please. “Where’d he go?”

 

His Mama’s eyes are wide, and she’s blinking lots like she can’t see proper. “I dunno, baby,” she finally says.

 

“He just _poofed_! Is he _magic_?” Leo’s excited, even if he _is_ sad Barry left—he’s never met a real-life magician afore!

 

“Well, he must be, mustn’t he, disappearin’ like that?” his Mama says, and she smiles real big at Leo. “You done with your beans?”

 

“Yes ma’am,” he says, and he carefully gets up off the bed to put his plate next to the faucet. “D’you think he’ll come back?” he asks. “Only, we didn’t finish reading my book.”

 

His Mama laughs, real long and loud, and Leo smiles at her, happy that he made her sound so happy. “I think so, baby. I don’t think he’s done with us, not yet.”

 

Leo doesn’t really understand what she means by that, but when she opens her arms he goes to her all the same, squeezing her real tight. “I love you, Mama,” he says into her arm.

 

“I love you more, baby. More than life,” she says like always, kissing him on top of his head. “Let’s get you to bed.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 25th, 1976: Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee


	2. April 28th, 1979

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy happy happiest of birthdays, my dear Kyla! *throws confetti* <33
> 
> enjoy some more adorable tiny!Len with a side helping of angst. :D
> 
> (brief song lyrics that Felicia sings are from Frank Sinatra's The Way You Look Tonight, and the passages from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, obviously, belong to L Frank Baum and not me.)

-x-

 

[ _I’m not superstitious about ya_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAbq_qkzFR0)

 

[ _But I can’t take no chance_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAbq_qkzFR0)

 

-x-

 

The next morning when Leo wakes up, he asks his Mama when Barry’s gonna come back and visit again, and frowns when she says she don’t know.

 

“But we gotta finish my book,” he says, and Mama laughs, kisses him on the forehead right where he’s frowning.

 

“Don’t worry, baby,” she says, smiling real big. “I’m sure he’ll come back soon.”

 

-x-

 

Over two years later, Leo can barely remember the nice man who read his ABC book to him while he ate beans on his Mama’s bed.

 

He’s bigger now, six-almost-seven, and last year they had to sell all his picture books so that Mama could buy him a new pair of shoes for the winter because his old ones were too small and his toes kept poking out of ’em.

 

“It’s okay, Mama,” he tried to cheer her up when it looked like she was gonna cry. “We c’n always borrow the books from the library, I don’t mind.”

 

His Mama looked even sadder at that, but she hugged him tight and kissed him on the forehead, so he knew everything would be okay.

 

(He only asks his Daddy once if they can go to the library.

 

“What d’you need the library for, boy?” Daddy had said.

 

“Mama said—”

 

“‘Mama said,’ ‘mama said’!” Daddy’s face had gone real mean and angry lookin’, and Leo shrank back a little. “When’re you gonna stop being such a _mama’s boy_ , huh? When are you gonna start actin’ like a _man_?”

 

That night, while he’s in the hall outside his and Mama’s tiny apartment, he can hear them through the walls, his Daddy yelling, the _clink-clank_ of the bottles he brought with him that Mama says are only for grown-ups. He hears his Mama’s voice get loud and high, the way it does when she’s trying not to cry, and the _slap_ of skin on skin, over and over. He clutches the ratty copy of _Charlotte’s Web_ he got from the library close to his chest and tries to ignore it all.

 

He avoids talking about the library with his Daddy, after that.)

 

-x-

 

His Mama is tidying up the apartment one late afternoon, the one day of the week she’s not working, humming along to the tinny radio he helped her fix up last week and laughing when she messes up the words. Leo’s reading _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_ —again, the third time in two months, but it’s a good book, one of his favorites, and Miss Adelaide the librarian always gives him a kind smile when he shows up and says he can check out whatever books he wants, no matter if he’s read ’em afore or not.

 

“ _There is nothing but for me to love you_ ,” his Mama croons, and Leo laughs as she pokes him on the nose as she passes, singing along to the next line, “ _and the way you look tonight_.”

 

He frowns a second later though, distracted by a noise in the hall. “Did’ja hear that, Mama?”

 

His Mama frowns too, turning the music low. There’s another sharp _crack_ , and then a sound like a bunch of bricks tumbling over, and his Mama heads for the door. “Stay here, baby,” she says in a low voice, and she goes out into the hall to investigate.

 

(It’s a good word, _investigate_. Leo likes learning new words, big words, and his Mama loves teaching ’em to him. He likes how they make him sound smart.)

 

Leo tongues the gap in his mouth where his tooth fell out yesterday, sitting very still on the bed.

 

She comes back only a minute or two later, dragging a very tall, nice-looking man that looks kinda-sorta familiar behind her.

 

“Do you remember Barry, little lion?” she asks, and it takes him a second, but then he remembers the kind smile and the way he had let Leo cuddle up to him when he read his old ABC book. He also remembers how Barry disappeared like _magic_.

 

“He told me stories, Mama,” he says, and he smiles at Barry when he asks, “Are you gonna tell me more stories?”

 

Barry’s big smile is just as big and nice as he remembers. “Of course.”

 

Leo squints at him in suspicion (he likes that word, _suspicion_ , likes using it—in the right _context_ , his Mama taught him that word too—in front of all the adults that think he’s stupid, likes seeing the funny faces they make). “You’re not gonna disappear partway through again, are ya?”

 

Barry laughs, and it sounds like he really didn’t mean to. “I sure hope not. It’s not… not really something I can control.”

 

“How d’you do it?” Leo asks, curious. The only magic he’s ever seen, aside from the stuff he’s read about Oz and Neverland in his books, is the way Barry disappeared all those months ago.

 

Barry kinda waves his hand around a little bit and shakes his head. “I dunno,” he says, and he sounds… sad? “It just kind of happens.”

 

“That doesn’t sound fun,” Leo says, matter-of-fact, and Barry laughs again.

 

“You’re right, it’s not. What are we reading today?”

 

Leo hands him _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. “We’re on chapter two, with the munchkins. You don’t hafta do the voices if you don’t wanna.”

 

“Well, maybe I want to.” Barry opens the book to the right page, clears his throat, and begins to read. “Chapter two: the council with the munchkins. _She was awakened by a shock, so sudden and severe that if Dorothy had not been lying on the soft bed she might have been hurt. As it was, the jar made her catch her breath and wonder what had happened…_ ”

 

-x-

 

“ _Soon after the Scarecrow stopped. ‘I see a little cottage at the right of us,’ he said, ‘built of logs and branches. Shall we go there?’ ‘Yes indeed,’ answered the child. ‘I am all tired out.’_ ”

 

Barry moves his hand over Leo’s curls, just like his Mama does, and Leo’s got a hard time keeping his eyes open. Barry’s lap is super comfy—not as comfy as his Mama’s, but Leo thinks that makes sense. Mamas laps are _made_ to be super comfy.

 

“You still awake?” Barry asks him quietly, and Leo nods right quick.

 

“Still awake.” He yawns right after saying it, but does his best to hide it from Barry, covering his mouth with both hands. “Don’t stop now—the chapter’s almost done!”

 

Barry laughs. “Okay, okay. _So the Scarecrow led her through the trees until they reached the cottage, and Dorothy entered and found a bed of dried leaves in one corner. She lay down at once, and with Toto beside her soon fell into a sound sleep. The Scarecrow, who was never tired, stood up in another corner and waited patiently until morning came._ ”

 

Barry closes the book gently, moving his hand over Leo’s hair again. “I think it’s time to follow Dorothy and go to sleep, Leo.”

 

“Don’ wanna be like D’rothy,” Leo mumbles. “Druther be like the scarecrow.”

 

“Why’s that?” Barry asks. He’s moving Leo around, getting off the bed and tucking Leo under the covers, but Leo thinks it’s nice.

 

“He’s funny.” He cracks another huge yawn before continuing, “An’ he doesn’ hurt when he gets hit.”

 

He hears a couple of funny choking noises after that, but everything’s gettin’ real floaty like it always does right before he falls asleep. “B’ry?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Are you gonna come back soon?”

 

“I… I don’t know, Leo. But I really, really hope so.”

 

“’Kay. Good. I like you.” Leo yawns one last time, buries his face into his tiny pillow. “G’night.”

 

“Sweet dreams, Leo. Here, stay awake enough for your mom, okay?”

 

His Mama’s there right after he says it, or maybe he fell asleep inbetween, but he’d know his Mama’s hugs anywhere. “I love you, my sweet lion boy. Have the best dreams tonight, okay?”

 

“Will. Love you, Mama.”

 

“I love you more, baby. Always.”

 

-x-

 

Leo wakes up once near the middle of the night—he can’t see the hands on the clock in the dark, but it _feels_ late, and he shouldn’t be awake but he’s real thirsty. He’s about to get out of bed and sneak across the apartment to get some water a’cause he doesn’t wanna wake his Mama, but he hears someone crying and he freezes up.

 

“I don’t want to go,” someone says with a hiccup. Leo almost peeks, because it sounds like _Barry_ , Barry’s still here, he hasn’t left!

 

But if it were him, he thinks, if it were _him_ crying, he wouldn’t want Barry to see him. So he stays still, stays quiet.

 

His Daddy says boys shouldn’t cry because it makes them weak and stupid.

 

He’s starting to think maybe his Daddy is wrong, because Barry doesn’t sound weak or stupid at all. Just sad.

 

Kinda like his Mama.

 

“I don’t want to go,” Barry says again, quieter this time, “but I don’t want to go back. Not yet.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Tigger,” his Mama says. “I promise, baby.”

 

Leo smiles a little to himself, because even though Barry’s sad his Mama is there, and his Mama is the best at comforting and giving hugs, especially when Leo’s crying, so he knows Barry will be okay in no time.

 

Leo settles back into bed, still smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April 28th, 1979: Knock On Wood - Amii Stewart


End file.
